Is relationship counselling an alternative to taking a Lie Detector Test?

Trust is defined as having confidence in and reliance on good qualities, especially fairness, truth and honour according to the Encarta dictionary. Trust is also a core emotional need essential for social relationships to flourish harmoniously according to Gold, Ryckman, Lenney & Zak (1998) in the Journal of Social Psychology, and without trust, uncertainty can cause a relationship to become dysfunctional and lead to one partner request a lie detector test.  Life experiences and people’s interpretations and internal representations of the past can determine the degree to which that person can trust someone. Clients seeking the services of a polygraph company in Australia are generally people, who have been wrongfully accused of infidelity in a marriage and are looking to prove their innocence by taking a lie detection test. An acute and total lack of trust can sometimes be an indicator of a psychological disorder that may require the services of a marriage counsellor, instead of a lie detector company.

Top 6 Signs of acute mistrust amongst people seeking a lie detector test in cities like Sydney and Melbourne.

• Reduced quality of intimacy due to regular arguments, abuse and accusations
• Constant allegations and name calling which prevent a relationship from flourishing
• Monitoring of the partner’s phone, car and email
•  Dysfunctional thoughts of suspected cheating when one partner is absent.
• Condescending or hurtful remarks of a disbelieving nature often disguised as humour.
• Accusations without actual evidence or because the person was known to tell a defensive lie in the past.

According to Zac et al, mistrust can cause an unhappy marriage or relationship, and the services of a relationship counsellor might be a viable alternative to a polygraph test. Mistrust is an illogical response to feeling betrayed; however a couple’s life can be negatively impacted when feelings of mistrust are insidious. Fortunately, a person can learn to trust again with the help of a therapist or counsellor. A variety of relationship and marriage counsellors in Sydney and Melbourne can be found in the yellow pages directory.

 

What Do Relationship counsellors say about Trust Issues in a marriage?

Marriage counsellors know that difficulties with trusting someone in a relationship stems from negative experiences during the childhood development. Previous experiences or exposure to dysfunctional relationships involving betrayal, bullying or mistreatment may shape a person’s interpretations of interactions in adult life, and consequently their ability to trust others on a personal or business level. For example, if a person is teased by his or her peers during primary school, this will affect future adult relationships. Being the victim of bullying can impact on a person’s self-esteem, which also plays a major function in an individual’s capacity to trust. Relationship counselling research indicates, that individuals who experience low self-esteem will be less likely to be trust their partners and co workers than those who are more self-assured. Alternatively, an individual who may have experienced or observed infidelity in the past, may become mistrustful of people who are actually seeking a  positive and harmonious relationship with them. The good news is that this can be reversed via the right therapy for dysfunctional relationships involving mistrust. In some cases, taking a lie detector test and presenting the results to the other partner can serve as an intervention or challenge that may lead from the pre contemplating stage of change to a contemplation stage of changing behaviour by taking action to make positive behavioural changes, so that the relationship may become enjoyable for both parties again.

 

Would one choose relationship counselling or a lie detector test when accused of cheating in a marriage?

In selected cases, taking a lie detector test to prove that an individual is telling the truth can serve as a challenge or intervention to the party making an unsubstantiated allegation. However, anecdotal evidence indicates that this is more effective when the examinee wants to prove their own truthfulness and then volunteer for the polygraph exam, rather than be challenged by a controlling spouse to take such a test.  Various models of therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or solution focussed therapy can help individuals pinpoint and rectify the source of where the problematic trust issue stemmed from. Being overly suspicious and sceptical can negatively affect relationships in every context but fortunately, learning to trust again is achievable. For example, a person who experienced or observed some infidelity in a relationship may transfer that unsubstantiated fear onto future relationships, which will cause it to be problematic. By working with a relationship counsellor, unrealistic fears about being cheating on can be alleviated. Various therapeutic methods are available to assist an individual to trust again.  Relationship communication in a manner that is respectful, free of abuse or condescending overtones and sarcasm is fundamental to any relationship, whether in a marriage or in the workplace.  Lie detector tests, serving as an intervention to a false accusation, have been carried out successfully in Sydney, Melbourne and Perth, according to company data by this firm since 2003. Any modality of therapy can be effective for addressing issues related to trust, however, the therapeutic  relationship between the client and the therapist is also an important factor, therefore one must choose a marriage counsellor that they believe can realistically help them, and vice versa.

 

Which psychological disorders do Trust Issues stem from?

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) , there is a relationship between trust issues, depression, anxiety and more severe mental health conditions like schizophrenia and posttraumatic stress. Individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia may experience paranoia which may have been triggered by excessive and prolonged use of drugs. These conditions can be treated with a mixture of therapy and medication from an appropriate health practitioner.

 

Lie detector case studies that were referred to a relationship counsellor (All names and places have been changed)

Unsubstantiated Fears of Infidelity - Rose 42 continually accuses Matthew 50, her live in partner of 10 years, of cheating, even though she says it is just women’s intuition. She blames her past experiences with other men. Discussions in the therapy room indicated that her father cheated on her mother with her best friend. A series of therapy sessions would teach Rose to distinguish between trustworthy and untrustworthy people, and learning to trust her own judgment and reasoning, to help re-establish trust with Matthew.

Continued Fears Related to War Trauma – John 24, has just returned from Afghanistan where he witnessed people get hurt. He is filled with guilt about this, and is scared when working on a farm in Australia. He thinks his boss is going to place him into harm’s way. John has firm beliefs about how a male should express himself and so has refrained from showing any emotion about his past battlefield issues.  In the therapy room, John begins to re-establish trust with his loved ones and begins to reconnect socially with others.

References:
Zak AM1, Gold JA, Ryckman RM, Lenney E. J Soc Psychol. 1998 Apr;138(2):217-28. Assessments of trust in intimate relationships and the self-perception process.
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5)